COMING TOGETHER--55

This is Thursday. We have been to Mom's hair salon, to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch and now we are back home.

This 18 mile trip to the salon is Mom's freedom. It gives her a chance to be the center of attention. She usually doesn't want to just come home. So we went to the Cheesecake Factory, a restaurant. Mom ate very little real food but she did load up on strawberry shortcake. This is what she does. She doesn't really like real food, she wants sweets because it deals with her depression.

Then after we came home and I had a 2 hour nap, she wanted to go back to the salon. I think she made this up, simply because it makes her feel independent. She craves her independence, which age and blindness has taken from her. She craves being away from me because I represent dependency.

Now she is taking a walk to get away from me and this apartment. I hope it lasts, but I fear she will come up with something else to get away. I probably need to leave as soon as possible for work.

+++

This is Friday, a nice overcast day, mild. I got Mom breakfast from McDonald's so she would have to eat some real food. It worked. She ate well, was grateful and I gave her some chocolate cookies two hours later.

I left for some exercise with the baseball at a park--had a good time and came back to write this. I'm not sure my mother even remembers yesterday.

　

COMING TOGETHER--56

Here it is Sunday already. Mom got up early for church, surprising me. We went. The sermon was confusing, about God not condemning us, but coming to save us. It was based on John 3.16, 17.

We went to The Egg and I, ate well. When we returned, I slept for two hours. The item of the day is that Mom has an overgrown toenail which will be painful to cut. I don't know how I'm going to her in the car. I don't know if they can deaden her toe so it won't hurt. It might hurt plenty. But that is tomorrow.

I work tonight, all night long.

On Monday I didn't try to get Mom in the car. I just let it pass. If the toenail grows, then it will just have to be that way. I mentioned it to her at noon today, she said she would go this afternoon. I knew that was a lie. So I just dropped the subject.

We have gone for our usual walk. I got Mom a salad from Schotzsky's Deli. The salad is terrific but I don't know if she'll eat any of it. I have to learn to drop that subject, also.

She is losing her mind, gradually. She knows this. She made a comment yesterday about having Alzheimer's. She is in no pain, her heart is still going but she just doesn't like to eat food. Right now it is 4pm; she doesn't want to eat the salad, she wants to eat chocolate. I just have to accept this.