LAST OF THE MOMSTER
Now that my mother is successfully ensconced in a retirement village, this blog will have to come to an end. I probably won't write any more about my mother.
However, I am looking for another subject upon which to write on a daily basis. I hope to find a theme soon.
Paul
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
COMING TOGETHER--85 Good Stuff
It is Tuesday. Yesterday I went over to the retirement village to say hello to Mom and find out if she is adjusting. They tell me she is really getting into events and has an older female buddy.
This is just what I wanted. I can put her off my mind, except for paying bills. We move all of her stuff into her new apt. on Saturday. It's going to be an ordeal, but only once.
Phil--my brother--and I are getting this done together with more harmony than we've ever had. I really like that. I cannot do this by myself and I don't want to.
All these damn change of addresses! I hate this part of moving; this is why I am more into my email address than a physical address.
Mom has so much unnecessary stuff. She has 8 or 10 bottles of the same stuff like vanilla extract, or hand lotion or plastic bowls. I've had to throw out about 50 pounds of stuff she has never used, probably never seen. She had dust everywhere in her bathroom.
Getting out of that apartment was good for her; it was a source of old memories and depression and dust and laying around. The new village keeps her moving and busy and doing things. This is good.
It is Tuesday. Yesterday I went over to the retirement village to say hello to Mom and find out if she is adjusting. They tell me she is really getting into events and has an older female buddy.
This is just what I wanted. I can put her off my mind, except for paying bills. We move all of her stuff into her new apt. on Saturday. It's going to be an ordeal, but only once.
Phil--my brother--and I are getting this done together with more harmony than we've ever had. I really like that. I cannot do this by myself and I don't want to.
All these damn change of addresses! I hate this part of moving; this is why I am more into my email address than a physical address.
Mom has so much unnecessary stuff. She has 8 or 10 bottles of the same stuff like vanilla extract, or hand lotion or plastic bowls. I've had to throw out about 50 pounds of stuff she has never used, probably never seen. She had dust everywhere in her bathroom.
Getting out of that apartment was good for her; it was a source of old memories and depression and dust and laying around. The new village keeps her moving and busy and doing things. This is good.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Arguments and Settlements
COMING TOGETHER--84
Mom spend the night at the care facility, by herself. She watched a movie, then slept until 10am when I woke her up with a knock on her door.
We went out to eat, paid her previous apartment off, and went back to her care facility. She won't get involved with the activities there, so I will have to go there less and less.
Philip will be there tomorrow. I've told her I won't come around. She cried; I told her to grow up. I told her she had not right to chain me down to her life, she had no right to enslave me. I have a right to my own life.
She says she doesn't care about Philip. I believe they will argue about the paintings and possessions. What she said was insulting to him, but I've always known my mother did not care about her children as much as she did her own life. She may make some sort of demand about leaving but I won't have her living with me.
She's going to have to fit in there, whether she wants to or not.
I've asked God to go before me when I see her on Thursday.
+++
Now it is Wednesday morning, about 4am. I have prayed for Mom and Phil's time together. I hope to God she is sleeping now. I hope this works out, because I don't want to go back to being her care giver. I'm her son, not her care giver.
We had a confrontation yesterday. I told her I wasn't her slave, that she had no right to take my life away from me. I told her I was not taking her away from Signature Pointe. I told her to make my Dad proud of her. I don't know how much of an effect that had on her, I suppose I will find that out after Phil leaves her today.
Mom spend the night at the care facility, by herself. She watched a movie, then slept until 10am when I woke her up with a knock on her door.
We went out to eat, paid her previous apartment off, and went back to her care facility. She won't get involved with the activities there, so I will have to go there less and less.
Philip will be there tomorrow. I've told her I won't come around. She cried; I told her to grow up. I told her she had not right to chain me down to her life, she had no right to enslave me. I have a right to my own life.
She says she doesn't care about Philip. I believe they will argue about the paintings and possessions. What she said was insulting to him, but I've always known my mother did not care about her children as much as she did her own life. She may make some sort of demand about leaving but I won't have her living with me.
She's going to have to fit in there, whether she wants to or not.
I've asked God to go before me when I see her on Thursday.
+++
Now it is Wednesday morning, about 4am. I have prayed for Mom and Phil's time together. I hope to God she is sleeping now. I hope this works out, because I don't want to go back to being her care giver. I'm her son, not her care giver.
We had a confrontation yesterday. I told her I wasn't her slave, that she had no right to take my life away from me. I told her I was not taking her away from Signature Pointe. I told her to make my Dad proud of her. I don't know how much of an effect that had on her, I suppose I will find that out after Phil leaves her today.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Coming Together -83
COMING TOGETHER-83
What a day this has been. I am exhausted. I am worn out with dealing with my mother's ways, with this move to a retirement facility. I am worn out with all the driving, with putting up with my mother's emotions, her delays, her reluctance and bad memory and fears, things she forgets, the things she doesn't want to do, the things she will not do.
I should have done this months ago, but no one in the family had gone through this before.
Now that Mom is in a nice retirement facility, I am homeless. I will have to find an apartment soon, and one that's pretty cheap.
My brother wants to come over to inspect things. He believes he needs to give his approval. He thinks he can do better than me; we'll go ahead, Phil, do better. You can do it all if you want.
I am not a health care professional, I can't take care of her 100% of the time, I can 40% of the time but living with Mom and trying to work has ruined my life, it has worn me down.
I have change of address stuff to do, more things to move, more chores with all of this.
What a day this has been. I am exhausted. I am worn out with dealing with my mother's ways, with this move to a retirement facility. I am worn out with all the driving, with putting up with my mother's emotions, her delays, her reluctance and bad memory and fears, things she forgets, the things she doesn't want to do, the things she will not do.
I should have done this months ago, but no one in the family had gone through this before.
Now that Mom is in a nice retirement facility, I am homeless. I will have to find an apartment soon, and one that's pretty cheap.
My brother wants to come over to inspect things. He believes he needs to give his approval. He thinks he can do better than me; we'll go ahead, Phil, do better. You can do it all if you want.
I am not a health care professional, I can't take care of her 100% of the time, I can 40% of the time but living with Mom and trying to work has ruined my life, it has worn me down.
I have change of address stuff to do, more things to move, more chores with all of this.
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