COMING TOGETHER--51

This is Friday morning. Mom did not eat her dinner last night. This hurts me because I had come to the point of nearly trusting her. Now I have to consider the fact that her lying to me has not ended. I have to go back to not trusting her. And this is near the time when my schedule is going to change. I will have to go to work at noon, coming home at 830pm. Now I will have to go to work nervous about what she will do.

I just pray she will be co-operative about breakfast. She is awake, I know but lying in bed. Yesterday she wanted to lie in bed and watch tv before 9am. I know her energy is weakening slowly, but should I make her get up or just let her lie?

My fears will not allow me to just let her lie there, but I know in my mind she will not get better. She will only age. I wish she were in a home so I could get some rest from the stress of her, but that's not going to happen. As Fr. Don said, this is a road I will have to travel alone.

As of Sunday, Mom is back to her old tricks of eating sweets all day and saying she isn't hungry. She stuffs more sweets down her throat than real food. She begs for ice cream and then eats it all afternoon long.

This is a constant struggle. I think it is because she is depressed. As I've said, I'd like to put her in a retirement home where they would make her eat two good meals a day. With me, she is up to this continual manipulation game over sweets. I get tired of this. I get tired of her. I'm not qualified to live with her and be her nurse and guardian. Real nurses get to go home, they get weekends off but I don't.

She refused to get out of bed before 10am, so I went to church without her. She was dressed when I got back. We went out to eat, but all she did was eat jelly and jam on her toast and drink coffee with sugar in it. She said she couldn't eat anymore and then she came home to stuff herself all afternoon long with snacks.

I suppose I have to put up with this from now on.