COMING TOGETHER--45

I thought she had given up driving--in her mind--but I was wrong. Yesterday she said she could drive again, but I said 'no.' She didn't argue the point any more, maybe because I keep reminding her of when she last drove she nearly hit a pedestrian right in front of her.

Her license is expired, and cut along the top, meaning she can't drive at night. If she confronts me about driving I will refuse. But as long as her car is there in the garage, she will want to drive.

She thinks she is getting better, but she isn't. She has not got any worse, as long as I am here to tell her what day it is and what she should do. Her vision is bad, her hearing is noticeably worse, her mind is in the first stages of dementia. But her heart and digestion systems are all right. In fact, they are good for her age.

But I don't believe she can't be left alone.

I am back at work, 8pm to 4am, so that I can take care of her during the day. I don't get more than 4 hours sleep but I have no choice. I feel like we are headed to some day of decision. Maybe to moving out to a care facility, maybe to me moving back to an apartment, maybe I'm just wishing my responsibility would have a day of ending this year.