COMING TOGETHER--36

That night, she went to sleep without watching tv all night and this morning, as I am writing this, she got up early and took her own breakfast. With that nutrition in her body from last night, she knew what day it was. I hope that makes an impression on her.

I hope this lasts.

Her girlfriends are coming over in 2 hours to take Mom out to lunch. After two hours, Mom is back from the Olive Garden and I am back from the internet and exercise room. Mom is watching tv and I am pleased as to how this has gone. She had a good time with the girls, she may take a nap this afternoon.

She did take a nap. We went to Barnes & Noble for a smoothie. The day has gone quickly. We watched tv, Mom ate a small sandwich--not enough--but with the smoothie filling her up maybe that's all I can hope for.

It is around 9pm at night. She is fiddling with the bed sheets, her usual nighttime ritual. She wants me to bring all my clothes inside from the garage to go in a dresser my Dad had. She believes she will go on for another few years. I don't know. She still talks about driving the car, even though I will not let her. She cannot see well enough to pay her own bills. Still, she is easier to get along with than so many her age.

If she goes on, it may be in a wheelchair. If she lives on, I don't know how long she can feed herself and even know who she is. She might be living, but she will never be independant again.

Now, my mother is going to bed. That means going from the tv room to the bedroom. Usually this is my time to talk to God, to write these posts, to wonder about what is going to happen. I think I will have to quit my job on Monday--this is Friday.

I wonder how long we will go on like this. When I say that, I am really saying to God, I'd like an end to this. I'd like to see where this is going. Still, living here like this is very comfortable for me, it's a perfect retirement. I may never have it so good. So I wonder how long this will go on. I wish I had something to do with this time other than watch my mother.

All of these thoughts come and go; I hope God doesn't take any action on them!