COMING TOGETHER--18

Last night Mom said she would eat meatloaf for dinner, but she lied. She did not, probably had no intention of eating it. Right now it is 830am, she is lying in bed. I expect to have to get her out of bed at 930; I expect to have to make her eat breakfast when she does get up. This is going to be a bad day. I despise a liar and I have to accept the fact that she is willing to lie or do anything to get her way, even if it kills her.

At first I was angry at this. But it's my fault for thinking she would ever be anything but the manipulator she's always been. This makes any good time we might have had before seem phony.

I might have to accept she will not eat more than once a day. I have to accept what she really is and she will do this again.

　

COMING TOGETHER--19

Today was contentious. I had to take her to her hairdresser, although I didn't really have to. There was much antagonism between us all day. She told me to bring her lunch while she sat under the hairdresser, which I did. I knew I was being treatted like a slave but I did it because I had been hard on her.

When we got home, Jack came by. He was a blessing from God.

She began to tell him how great she was. I felt urged within myself to contradict her, so I did. And in front of him. That ruined the phony act she was putting on about being so good. She likes to tell people how well she eats, when this is a lie. She told Jack how much she walks around the property when she does no such thing.

After a while, she told me to leave the room. She went into her haughty act with Jack because he actually came to ask for money for his daughter. Giving money makes her feel good, so she did it.

I left for work, thinking, I have to get out of ths arrangement with her. I have to get out of her apartment and away from her. So I went on to work, trying to feel free of her clinginess and her deceptions. At work I emailed my daughter and sister about the truth of this situation.