COMING TOGETHER--79

It is Monday, after Father's Day. Mom spent the day at my brother's house. We ate like kings. Phil had steak, salmon, shriimp, potatoes and plenty to drink. Her 3 daughters and their out of wedlock children were there, like a big happy family. Of course it isn't such a big happy family once you get to know them, but they do try to be together. They've gone through plenty of bad decisions and immoral behavior, so at least it's better than it was. The daughters have been in and out of jail, but Phil has dedicated himself to Jesus and his Presbyterian church, so things are better.

I had to leave early to get back home for sleep before I worked overnight. I was glad to leave, since I don't really fit in with Phil's family. My only real connection with Phil is golf, and that's okay. I don't have any family 'on my side,' in the sense of being like me, liking to be with me, etc. So I wanted to leave although I enjoyed myself more than I usually do.

My brother brought Mom home 2 hours after I got here. I was asleep, snoring. Phil said, 'He's happy.'

I woke up when Mom was here. She seems to have had a nice day but I think she is losing memory every day. Phil is going to go with her as she drives, to see if she is as incapable of driving as I think. I am not offended by this.

I hope he comes, to resolve this.

I need time off from my mother, especially the responsibility of her. That in itself stresses me out. I get weary of being here and what my mother is at her age. I love getting away.

I don't like working overnight but it is what I have. Mom has decided to let me write the checks for her, which is good. We do this thing: she gives up one thing which makes it easier on me. I do one more thing for her which eases my anxiety.

The message seems to be, I am going to be here as long as she lives. This is what I do, right now. Maybe there is some blessing in this after the end.